“Since my husband took up arms, he has gone crazy”… On domestic violence and the consequences of the Syrian war

“Since my husband took up arms, he has gone crazy”… On domestic violence and the consequences of the Syrian war
“Since my husband took up arms, he has gone crazy”… On domestic violence and the consequences of the Syrian war

“Since my husband took up arms in this war, he has gone mad, and thinks of himself as a leader who does not make any dust. I don’t blame him, I read a lot of psychological research on the story, weapons have an effect on the brain, and make a person think that he is very strong, so what is He went through situations, difficulties, sieges and clashes, all of these things affected him and made him violent. He was not like this before the war.”

This is what Mayada (pseudonym), who resides in Damascus, says during her talk to Raseef22 about the violence she was subjected to at some point inside the walls of her house, and adds: “He was losing his temper for trivial reasons during his few vacations, I still remember the first hand he slapped me because I I added more salt to the food.” At that time, Mayada left her home for her family’s house, where she stayed for about a month, and continued: “He used many methods with many tricks and begging until she agreed to return, provided that he would not think again of extending his hand on me. That was in In 2012, and to make matters worse, I was pregnant at the time, so the final separation decision was not easy.”

Days passed and Mayada gave birth to her only virgin, and her husband actually fulfilled his promise and did not harm her, until the year 2015. She says: “We quarrel fiercely because of his mother, who does not love me, and who creates problems for me every day. The problem developed and he hit me with the butt of the gun on my head, so I left Consciousness. Yes, my husband hit me with a gun, and for the sake of my son, a story was arranged that I fell down the stairs in the house, despite the horror and violence of the incident, but I would not imprison my son’s father.”

Globally, one in three women experiences physical or sexual violence, mostly at the hands of a partner

Mayada did this because she, like her fellow Syrians, fears divorce and the shame that comes with it, especially since she comes from a family belonging to a closed society that forbids divorce. To this day, her husband still abuses her from time to time, and Mayada is still unable to make the final decision to move away, as being away in her community is an abomination and will haunt her and her son until many generations to come.

She concludes by inferring the condition of her divorced aunt: “My aunt has been ostracized since she was divorced twenty years ago, and for similar reasons to mine, and since that day she has been ostracized by the family, and no one is forbidden to communicate with her and know her news. I do not want my fate to be the same as hers, and to die alone in a strange house. My mother once told me: Killers every day and no word is absolute.

It is not difficult to find abused women in Syrian society. It is almost full of them, and they are women with faint whining under the weight of the oriental masculinity that carved the war in its wide body until it became more naked, which made the battered women appear behind him with their sad face full of insistence on patience, and more patience, in our societies, in Syria in particular, divorce is a shame , and the absolute defective.

Al-Yafa’a Mona (pseudonym, 15 years old), visited one of the Damascus police stations after suffering from abrasions and blows that led to swelling in her body. Immediately, the police dealt with the case by summoning the forensic medical doctor, who also confirmed the presence of burn marks on the little girl’s body as a result of “warming up” a metal skewer. He was set on fire and then attached to her body, according to the forensic report at the time.

Since my husband took up arms in this war, he has gone mad, and thinks of himself as an unshakable leader. became violent. It wasn’t like that before the war

This incident was one of several accounts that Raseef22 obtained from various sources, including those in the police researching domestic violence in Syria. In Mona’s case, the perpetrator was the mother, who was subsequently taken to the police station, and from there she was referred to the judiciary to decide on her case. Among what she said in the investigations: “I am raising my daughter.” Mona, in whom courage outweighed fear, got fed up and took a step that adults might not dare to take, and went to the police to complain to her mother.

Like Mona’s story, there may be hundreds or even thousands of similar stories that have remained trapped in the walls that witnessed torture, although the Ministry of Interior’s Facebook page is full of news of violence, but the secret of concealing the bulk of complaints is the absence of a culture of complaint, and the young age of the abused children, as a story The 5-year-old child Musa, whose story was reported by the Ministry of Interior, was gifted by his grandfather to save him from his mother’s hands.

In the story of the abused child Moussa, the grandfather filed an official complaint with the Eastern Mezzeh Department in Damascus against his daughter, yes his daughter, to save his grandson from her clutches, and she was the one who burned, beat and flogged the little one, so that a police patrol was immediately launched and the mother was arrested, according to what he confirmed. Also, a police Source told Raseef 22, while asking about the case again.

Immediately, the forensic doctor was summoned and took notes on the effects of torture. He said in his report: “There are multiple extensive bruises spread on the chest, back, abdomen and upper extremities with bruises around the eyes, swelling of the upper lip and an inner wound.” As for the mother, she found no justification other than the claim that her son was an obstacle to her freedom of movement after his father had recently passed away.

Safaa (a pseudonym), has just entered her thirtieth year, and the sixth year of her traditional marriage. The girl from Homs entered the marriage cage in a hurry, she wants to have children and a happy life. In fact, she gave birth, but she never knew the taste of happiness, she tells Raseef22.

And she adds, “What am I going to tell you? About my broken ribs? Or about my latest boat fracture in the bones of my hand? Or about the abrasions on my back? Or about the effect of his belt on my stomach and skin? Or that there was not a day that went by that I was not violent in front of my children (5 and 3 years old). years), and always for no reason. He just tortures me for torture and takes pleasure in it, and it has increased since he became unemployed.

What will I tell you about? About my broken ribs? Or about the last boat fracture in the bones of my hand? Or about the abrasions on my back? Or about the impact of his waist belt on my stomach and skin?

Hardly a day passes without Safaa being beaten and insulted. She tries to heal herself with hope and that her husband will change soon, and that most likely if she had not been wrong, he would not have done so. What logic is this? A woman justifies her husband’s exaggerated abuse so that she does not divorce, and to continue to respect and sanctify married life with all its slander and with the sound of the whip that falls on the tender meat.

She continues: “When I read news of deaths due to domestic violence, I fear for myself a lot, especially as he is quick to provoke and a look from me can provoke him to hit me violently while insulting me with the most vulgar and vilified words.” Safaa believes that she is a patient woman despite all this suffering, but it is certain that “if there were people who understood behind her, she would not have stayed with him all this time”… Finally, she uttered this sentence at the end of the conversation.

Sociologists believe that violence is attached to societal value systems, so it is necessary to address those values ​​that take into account in their aspects the presence of women and their basic role, and the whole matter follows the structure of the social system and the rights of its members, and the absence of gender justice makes places where women feel safe inside or outside their home Few in light of the dominant male domination in society.

As for the external factors, they are also related to the structure and structure of the social system and the conflict of roles it produces within the same house. Despite that, the pressure coming from outside (physical and psychological pressure under the current circumstances) plays the largest role in the explosion of violence inside the house, which is linked to the image In general, the war taking place in Syria, the military one in the past, which led to the spread of weapons and the “death of hearts”, leading to the economic war and starvation of people. The matter becomes interconnected circles, the husband abusing his wife, the wife abusing her son, the boy abusing his brother, and the brother abusing the neighbor’s younger son, and so on, so that violence becomes the language of expression in society.

Today, gender-based violence, including domestic violence, is more prominent in Syria as a result of the stormy war that the country has gone through, which made fear dominate the lives of many women and children, some of whom lost safety in their home, which is the place of residence for the family that forms the nucleus The first is in building a society that has become shaky due to the many wrongdoings in it through acts of violence that Syrians hear about every day.

In addition, there is fear of sexual violence, and the corridors of the courts have witnessed several cases related to this type recently. All of these things increased women’s fears for themselves and their children, which contributed to increasing pressures and psychological burdens.

The Syrian legislator has not developed a law or a direct concept with regard to domestic violence and its consequences, but the Syrian Penal Code mentioned criminal behavior and assault.

In addition, the traditional marriage, which produced more than others the disease of harm and societal violence, after the families had married their daughters for motives, mostly related to money and the “satrat”, as well as the marriage of underage girls, and this in itself is another lengthy research.

The Syrian legislature did not develop a law or a direct concept regarding domestic violence and its consequences, but the Syrian Penal Code mentioned criminal behavior, assault, rape, coercion and harassment.

However, any abused woman can resort to the police, forensic medicine and the judiciary to take her right from the aggressor, who is often the husband, with the crime of intentional abuse, so the case is referred to the Penal Magistrate Court, so that reconciliation can then be an option, accompanied by a written pledge from the husband not to hit the wife again, or A final and final judgment is issued against the aggressor by imprisonment or a fine, and later the outcome of the court’s decision in the case of divorce may be based on the reason for the violence.

In the event of reconciliation, and the complaint of beatings is repeated within 3 years, the judge takes the procedure of transferring the case’s papers to the Sharia judiciary to decide on it. If the renewed beating of the wife causes permanent disabilities, the husband is incriminated by the criminal court.

The UN Women website states: “Violence against women is a serious human rights violation that occurs on a daily basis around the world. Globally, one in three women experiences physical or sexual violence, mostly at the hands of a partner. While violence is committed Domestic abuse and abuse are sometimes subtle, if we know the signs of an abusive relationship, we may be able to get to know them better and seek help or give a helping hand to those in need.”

He adds: “One of the common signs of abuse is that he may physically harm you, such as hitting, pushing, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting, and he may use or threaten to use a weapon against you.”


The article is in Arabic

Tags: husband arms crazy .. domestic violence consequences Syrian war

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