‘He abused my vulnerable position’

• Anna Mees

  editor Online

Women from different countries accuse a ‘shibari healer’ who is now in the Netherlands of sexual abuse. During the paid sessions, Bodhi Zapha, as he calls himself, allegedly abused their vulnerable and dependent position. Three of them, including a Dutch one, tell their story here.

At the shibarisessions, a Japanese form of bondage, Zapha ties clients into ropes and hangs them horizontally from a construction. This article explains what he thinks this is good for and how experts look at it.

Hagar Ben Israel did a session with him in Israel in 2016. She previously told her story in the newspaper Haaretz: “I always had the feeling that there was something unresolved was in me, that my body was a prison. I was hoping that if I do something extreme like shibari would do, I could let myself go completely and it would leave my body.

First, he promised that there would be no sexuality in any form. Later when I was tied up, he pulled the rope over my nipple in a very painful way. Then he put his penis deep in my mouth and pushed my head against him. It went so fast that I couldn’t breathe. But he didn’t stop. When I nearly choked, he said, “Excellent, this is your cleansing.” It encouraged him to continue aggressively, about five times. He kept saying, “My penis is sacred, this is my temple, this is how I serve my clients.”

Canada’s Kaitlin did a session in Portland, Oregon (USA) last year. “I have been abused many times in my life. Bodhi Zapha had said that letting go of the rope can help release trauma.

I said beforehand that I wanted to work on my confidence. He soon asked if it was okay if there was penetration. I told him I didn’t want my body to panic inside. But if it was a deep healing point I’d say yes, I wanted an open one mind to keep.

At first he had me tied up very tightly and I was in a fetal position. I felt safe for the first time in my life. Then he said, ‘this symbolizes who you are inside, so disturbed and wounded’. He sat on me and took off my bra.

We sat next to the bed. My whole body was tense and I didn’t want to have sex with him. He asked, ‘If you can’t let me in, how are you going to let someone else or love in? My inner healer just wants to heal you and you won’t let her do that.” Then he started to cry.

The last part I call the ‘punishment part’. He tied me in with my hands behind my back. I said I didn’t want any more. Then he said I was finally setting my limits. There was one more part, in the air. I still wanted value for money, I had paid 1200 dollars. He hung me on the ropes and I screamed loudly. It hurt so bad, but he left me hanging. I got mad and told him to take me down. He panicked and eventually he did.”

The Dutch ‘Emma’ (actual name known to the editors) did a session with Bodhi Zapha ‘a while ago’ that would degenerate into much more. “It lasted at least eight hours. He asked me to give him a blowjob. After the session I was in a completely different state, very vulnerable and I couldn’t think clearly. He took me to his house and we had sex. It felt like I was completely disconnected from reality.

After that we started seeing each other more often. He immediately said that he knew my limits better than I did. If I liked something, he would lose interest and want to do things that I really didn’t want to do. It had many negative consequences. For a long time I was unable to open up to anything subtly sexual. I have a lot healings done, but I still struggle to really trust men.”